I can’t stay focused on anything anymore. Not really.
Like in the beginning of classes I’m trying so hard and then there are moments where I’m just sitting there, depressed. A few times I wanted to cry. But of course I won’t do that. Today in psych I bit my lip a lot during the nature vs. nurture discussion.
It’s like I’m trying to make a clay bowl be symmetrical and I’m thinking “rape rape rape sue Pace rape rape rape I want to die just fuck this.”
And in photography the teacher drives me crazy so I am argumentative with her. And never in my whole entire life have I ever really argued with a professor. She is an authority figure that I simply just don’t agree with. And after Pace I can’t deal with bullshit anymore. I just can’t. So then after class I just get super frustrated and either scream on the phone or just cry hysterically.
But I can cry hysterically and scream on the phone any day, after any class, really.
Today I did that just because I bought a lightbulb that was shattered in its box and I had to change out of my skirt which made me cry even more and have a panic attack. And then I was late for class. And I’m never late for class. Ever.