Oh, so, I officially have over 2,000 followers!

So thank you. Thank you so much.

You and this blog mean the world to me. 

I’d probably be dead without this blog. I legitimately can’t imagine my life without it at this point. It’s part of me. 

So thanks for following.

And if it’s too triggering to follow, thanks for checking in from time to time, as I know a bunch of you do. 



Maybe I’ll post my speech on this blog on Monday. But before I do, is there a way to disable comments from a tumblr post??


People in my ceramics class were slightly making fun of Amanda Bynes and calling her “crazy” and a “schitzo.” I told them not to make fun of her mental illnesses. 

I fucking give up. You are in college. Just because you haven’t seriously dealt with mental illness yet does not allow you to be ignorant and mean. 


Okay. So, I “came out of the closet” on Facebook about having been raped. I’ve been posting about Pace. I posted my Project Unbreakable photos. I posted the personal piece that I wrote. I posted the Huffington Post article. So now everybody who has ever known me basically knows what I’ve been through.

My pothead senior class president, who won as a joke, sent me an “Ode to Lilly” after we spoke for a bit about everything. (He had somewhat of a crush on me and asked me out to a Thai dinner once.)

This is what he wrote:

" I do wish American males (and men around the world) would appreciate what we have. Women are beautiful— I’m sure we can do better than expressing that by watching porn and hanging boobs on our bedroom walls. 

 We need to improve. But historically, it’s better than it used to be. That probably doesn’t provide you with any comfort considering what you described in the article. 

 In my experience, the only thing that can heal pain inflicted by an injustice is fighting it. And that’s exactly what you are doing and I commend you for it. As far as you becoming, ”more bi,” it’s important that you have some fun. I hope that in twenty years not all of your memories of your early twenties will be of the pain those men caused you. 

It saddens me that men nauseate you and I would like to think that as time heals your wounds and happiness replaces feeling of despair, you can forgive us. 

It’s great that you found the strength to come out and share your story. If you use that same strength to pursue a career in art, I’m sure you will be successful. 

And please, stay away from drugs and alcohol. Personal experience. “

He used to use a lot of drugs. I think he’s clean now. 

I just thought it was really nice. 


I just emailed both of my Monday professors and briefed them on this opportunity where I can speak out against how colleges handle sexual assault. I’ll see what they say, since I told them I’d have to miss class to be able to attend this. 


Pace only alerts students on attacks that happen off campus by non-students. 
Another one of these went up during my 5 week investigation when there was a rapist on the 23rd floor of the dorm building. 
Oh and the man who signed it is the one who interviewed me in the exam room. Hairy fingers and a gold pinky ring. Gross. He also tried to “convince” me that I wanted to report my rape when I clearly did not want to. He was such an asshole. 

Pace only alerts students on attacks that happen off campus by non-students. 

Another one of these went up during my 5 week investigation when there was a rapist on the 23rd floor of the dorm building. 

Oh and the man who signed it is the one who interviewed me in the exam room. Hairy fingers and a gold pinky ring. Gross. He also tried to “convince” me that I wanted to report my rape when I clearly did not want to. He was such an asshole. 


I really really really want to go but I have classes on Mondays. 
This is very upsetting. I would love to go to this and testify.
I even wrote to the woman who invited me to this that if they wanted students to come to this and to speak up then it should not have been scheduled for 1pm on a Monday. Everybody has class. Everybody. 

I really really really want to go but I have classes on Mondays. 

This is very upsetting. I would love to go to this and testify.

I even wrote to the woman who invited me to this that if they wanted students to come to this and to speak up then it should not have been scheduled for 1pm on a Monday. Everybody has class. Everybody. 



It appears that my botched Pace investigation files are being mailed to me today! 

I am so excited! 


aquaheartgirl:

Reblog! This could save lives!

aquaheartgirl:

Reblog! This could save lives!

(via silenceisover)


Q
I'm starting to think about suicide again. I don't have a plan or intentions or anything. But I've started thinking the only way to feel better is to die. Every day is endless panic. Every night it's nightmares and waking up to night terrors. :(
Anonymous
A

I totally understand what you’re saying. I feel the same for the most part. But we need to stay alive. You can think about suicide, you just need to convince yourself that it’s something that you will never do. Your family or friends or even a pet need you and want you to live. When my brother died it changed everything. You will destroy people by destroying yourself. So you need to live for them. At least for now. One day you will be living more for yourself. You just need to keep your loved ones in your head during these times and really think about how they will feel if they found out you died. It’s not pretty. I know that you are unhappy. You are allowed to be unhappy. Life does suck. It does. It’s totally unfair, tedious, and painful. But there can be good parts too. Try to talk to somebody. If you don’t tell them about your suicidality then just talk about how you’ve been feeling more depressed lately. Talking and ranting do help a little. 



theamericanavenger:

theamericanavenger:

Okay guys this is kinda important. GQ just came in the mail and for the first time in a long while it had a really important article…

I just sat here for like the last half hour reading this and I’m incredibly appalled at our justice system in regards to the military. The article interviews about 23 men who have all been sexually assaulted in some branch of the military. The PTSD from sexual assault in the military is more prevalent than PTSD from combat…

If you have a chance I suggest reading this article…and the title is a quote that one of the victims Doctor told him…

Hey guys! I’m very impressed and extremely happy to see this post gaining a lot of speed over the last few days! A few people have requested it, so i’ve gone ahead and scanned the pages of the article for those who want to read it, to read. 

So, here it is!

(via webelieveyou)