May 18, 2013 • 1 note
Q
to the Anon w/ questions about masturbation: masturbation/sex is often an activity where survivors can explore their abuse, in an environment that they CAN control, that IS consensual, where can go at their own pace and cry if/when they need to. Masturbation/sex is often when people at their most vulnerable (esp. for survivors), so it's easier for feelings to come up. If you're taking that opportunity to explore those feelings/memories, then all the more power to you!
Anonymous
A
May 18, 2013
Q
I masturbate like you said & I did it before I realized what I went through was abuse. Ive had new memories come up since then, things that I didnt remember & I was wondering if you think that means that I was raped/penetrated but cant remember. I was 13 when I started doing it & Ive always pictured it to be someone that loved me but was hurting me. It touches the feelings & helps me cry. Does it make sense that I act thosefeelings out through sex? Its like I allow myself to feel like a victim.
Anonymous
A

That makes sense. It is possible that you were raped/penetrated but you blocked out the memory. It is common to do that, especially as a child. The masturbation might be helping you and your body remember things that may have happened in the past. It helps you relive it and to help explore your feelings about it. 

May 17, 2013 • 16 notes • rsurvivorrally

Politicians are racing to stop rape in the military--thanks to people like her

How a survivor’s courage made the invisible visible

May 17, 2013 • 109 notes • projectunbreakable
projectunbreakable: The poster reads: “No? Is that all you know how to say?” — Photographed in London, England on December 1st. — Click here to learn more about Project Unbreakable. (trigger warning) Facebook, Twitter, submissions, FAQ, donate to Project Unbreakable, join our mailing list

projectunbreakable:

The poster reads:

“No? Is that all you know how to say?”

—

Photographed in London, England on December 1st.

—

Click here to learn more about Project Unbreakable. (trigger warning)

Facebook, Twitter, submissions, FAQ, donate to Project Unbreakable, join our mailing list

(via project-peace-break-the-silence)

May 17, 2013 • 4 notes
Q
Body memories are a special kind of flashback that is quite different than your standard flashback. The reason for this is that there is muscle memory for trauma, and body memories call on that muscle memory. Traditional flashbacks do this less so. Both are really terrible. (I have both regularly.) I just think it's important that we speak about these things clearly.
chickapinparish
A
May 17, 2013 • 1 note
Q
in response to the 16 year old anon that was abused at a young age.. i don't think i saw the full story but from just the last post, i have to tell you that it's incredibly normal to still have bad feelings about your abuse. i was 18 MONTHS old when mine started, i'm 25 now. I still have thoughts, memories, panic attacks. things have gotten better and they will continue to get better, but its ok to still not be ok. your abuse is part of you. there is hope and you are normal. i promise.
thetobes
A
May 17, 2013
Q
I was raped by a boy I knew when i was 12.I didnt exactly know what to call until I was a freshman in high school. During sophomore year i had sex with a boy while we we're drunk, and he is straight.I remembered it, and he claims hedidnt which i call false because i remember him fondlysaying "we can do it again if you dont tell anyone".(He initiated everything btw.) Now I hear that he is accusing me of rape, and half of my school thinks so and I am triggered beyondwords. Idont know what to do
Anonymous
A

I am really sorry for what’s going on in your life! Being called a rapist when it’s false must be really awful, to say the least. And I can see how triggering it must be! Do you think he’s going to press charges? I really think that you should get an adult involved. Do you parents or legal guardian know? Are you able to talk to them about what’s been going on? A therapist would also be helpful, along with a diary, so that you can sort out your thoughts. If classmates are bullying you about this you should also get the school involved, which I know would be very difficult to do. But you need to take care of yourself in this situation. 

May 17, 2013 • 1,035 notes • fuckyeahbodypositivity

(via anxietysurvivor)

May 17, 2013 • 2,026 notes • spit-at-stars
spit-at-stars: Words around the outside of the figure are some of society’s fucked up messages towards women. (particularly about rape,victim blaming, slut shaming) The naked body has written on it what we should be saying to people. 

spit-at-stars:

Words around the outside of the figure are some of society’s fucked up messages towards women. (particularly about rape,victim blaming, slut shaming)

The naked body has written on it what we should be saying to people. 

(via anxietysurvivor)

May 17, 2013 • 182 notes • i-just-have-a-difference

Remember that it’s okay not to be okay

(via survivorschat)

May 17, 2013 • 1,187 notes • queerbeen

I think a better definition of ‘flashback’ needs to be made.

It doesn’t have to be a visual memory. It can be auditory - the sound of a door slamming as an example - or even just a body memory. Like, your body just feels something that’s psychosomatic.

It doesn’t even have to hit you immediately. I want to communicate this because for the longest time, I didn’t think I was being triggered, even though I would feel like crap because I wouldn’t have a panic attack.

Basically, flashbacks are anything that brings you and/or your body back to the time of trauma. It doesn’t have to be conscious, and you don’t have to realize, “Oh, this is happening because of the trauma.” Just like serious nightmares don’t have to be the kind that wake you up crying in the middle of the night.

Anonymous on survivorrat.tumblr  (via queerbeen)

Thank you, whoever wrote this. I’ve struggled sometimes because most of the descriptions of PTSD symptoms I’ve read talk solely about visual flashbacks. Not that I’ve had cause to doubt the PTSD itself, since I have almost every single symptom on most lists. But I’ve had a hard time recognizing my flashbacks as such because they’re almost always body memory, sometimes auditory, almost never visual. They’re scary, and it really helps to understand what’s going on when I feel like past trauma is happening again.

(via evelark)

COSIGNED. this is so fucking helpful. i don’t get like… violently triggered usually, so i can never really tell if i’m being “legitimately” triggered, which is fucked up because my feelings and experiences are mine and not anyone else’s so this is just super nice and validating to read <3

(via about1000kisses-shy) SO helpful. I started having auditory flashbacks because of my meds, but my therapist deemed me as hallucinating and got me hospitalized. Ugh no one understands unless they personally suffer from it, (via little-by-little-ok)

(via little-by-little-ok)

May 17, 2013
Q
Please answer me :/ He didn't rape me. He abused me, but just never exactly raped me. I was so young then and I'm 16 now and I'm still feeling miserable. Is that normal? Can I get help?
Anonymous
A

Abuse is a horrible thing to have to go through. Everybody heals differently and there is no such thing as a “normal” time length of recovery. For some, healing can be a short amount of time, for others it can take many years to recover. Either way, it is always possible for victims and survivors to eventually feel somewhat normal again. Help is always available. If you are able to talk to your family, you could ask to speak with a therapist about what’s been going on. Otherwise, you could go to your school therapist, since that’s free. But, if you do that, they may wind up calling your parents or legal guardians about what you told them. There are books about child abuse and many organizations out there that provide help, sometimes even counseling. I hope that you are able to figure something out that can help. 

May 17, 2013 • 229 notes • sonofbaldwin

Lebanese Man Rapes and Impregnates His Sister, Then Kills Her in 'Honor Crime'

atimbalance:

fuckingrapeculture:

sonofbaldwin:

[Trigger Warning: Rape, Murder, Rape Culture, Extreme Misogyny]

A man has killed his pregnant teenage sister in south Lebanon in what was seen as an honor crime - the murder of a woman accused of shaming her family.

Voice of Lebanon radio (100.5) said Friday that the body of Baghdad Khaled al-Issa, 18, was found with stab wounds in her head and sides in the area of al-Wazzani.

Investigators discovered that her brother Jihad, 21, had killed her in what is described as an honor crime, VDL said.

It added that the victim was seven months pregnant.

Later on Friday, LBCI television reported that the investigation with Jihad revealed that he had raped his sister, which lead to her pregnancy.

“He confessed to raping his sister,” LBCI said, adding that Jihad claimed he was drunk when the incident happened.

The television channel added that he had only recently found out about the pregnancy and asked his sister to undergo an abortion, but she refused.

Every year thousands of women are killed for notions of family honor worldwide, mainly in the Middle East, North Africa and South Asia.

In 2011, the Lebanese parliament approved a draft-law to cancel article 562 of the penal code that calls for limited punishments for honor killings.

Destroy all patriarchy NOW!

Next time somebody even TRIES to complain about misandry and how it’s “just as bad as misogyny”, just try me. 

Such a disgusting person.

May 17, 2013 • 1 note

I am currently watching CNN and they just discussed sexual assault in the military. 

Gen. Martin Dempsey said “we might be a little bit too forgiving.”

And Obama was shown saying that it’s a disgrace. 

May 17, 2013
Q
I'm sorry I flew off the handle. I was just taken by surprise and was rather astonished. Although I could never imagine doing it to deal with what happened to me, I understand that masturbation could be one way of dealing with it. I apologize for being so judgemental and close-minded. Please forgive me, and I'm sorry to anyone I might have hurt. We all need to take care of ourselves own way. I'm so sorry.
Anonymous
A

Thank you for apologizing. We all appreciate it. Sometimes certain things may hit us a certain way and it takes a while to think about it differently.